A Life Update.

In Akwa Ibom there is no hurry.

Dec 21, 2024

Part I: Like Abraham, wherever you send me, I will go.

I was dreaming about Lagos. Prophetic dreams where I was told Lagos was where I was meant to be. I was also having near-death experiences; a swelling on my head where the driver moved too fast, shortness of breath when in a millisecond I had moved from an incoming bus, an eerie feeling hearing people say 100million in a bus and because I had been on Twitter long enough to be paranoid, I got down instantly at Maryland mall. And still, there were no pros to leaving as far as I could see, there was only if this was where God wanted me to be. My mind was in chaos that evening when I walked into a special midweek service and my pastor said we were going to pray a dangerous prayer and to please not pray it if we weren’t going to follow through.

It is not easy to be uprooted from all you know to begin a new thing.

He asked us to pray for obedience, that like Abraham, at God’s will, we could drop everything and move to where he was calling us to be. I prayed it with single-minded focus and urgency. I had turned into a seeker of signs; If this person texts me, it means it will work, if I buy Akara and bread today, God says yes, and when I got the call, I packed my bags, stopped fighting, and moved to Akwa Ibom, the land of promise.

I feel an old familiar anger as I write this. I know now that being in AK was necessary, possibly the best thing to have happened to me in 2024, but then, when I got the news, that wasn’t what I was thinking, I thought that my life was finally beginning to make sense, things were aligning and somebody snatched it away from me.

Part II: Tell the driver to drop you at Ekomima Junction

The first time I heard about Akwa Ibom, my hair was braided back, my pink and purple uniform ironed to perfection because Daddy always ironed my clothes with his, my sister polished my shoes and my heart was learning that its beat could fluctuate at the sight of my crush, I was reciting the state and capital. I recited it carelessly, absentmindedly, brashly, I was brilliant, the entire school knew it and I knew that they knew it.

The second time I heard about Akwa Ibom, I was in a WhatsApp group chat where a young lady expressed her difficulty traveling from the state down to Lagos for a boot camp. She got to camp around 10 pm and I remember thinking, This place must be far. Three years later, it is she who waits for me at Ekomima junction, who holds my hand, who navigates transportation, and whose bed I lay on my first night in Akwa Ibom. I stood at the junction, a roundabout nuzzling with the usual activities that herald Nigerian cities, the language hitting but not penetrating my eardrums, and thinking that surely, there must be a great reason why God brought me here.

My first culture shock was the streets, too clean, and then the pace at which they moved through life. In Akwa Ibom, there is no hurry. People walk along the street, enter and exit buses, and there’s no rush; everything can wait. These are people who take things in stride, and who savor the present.

I remember the first time I navigated transportation alone, it shocked me to see the passengers and driver waiting while a lady rummaged through her bag in search of money. “Why didn’t she bring her money out when we were close to her bus stop?’’ I was used to arranging my change in advance so I didn’t delay my Lagos conductor, so this lack of urgency shocked me.

In Akwa Ibom, there is no traffic, The longest I was delayed was about 2 minutes and transportation is cheap, I am talking 100 naira, 150, 300 for long distances and I learned it used to be cheaper.

In Akwa Ibom, I learned phrases like Good morning, How much?, Thank you. I also learned that when you get to your bus stop, you don’t say “Owahhh oo” Just say, “I am dropping here.” I am telling you this because I did it. I said O wahh and shamed myself.

Part III: I Celebrate grace sister Faith.

In Uyo I became many things. Now, I used to make statements about how I loved being in the house of God, even going as far as imagining how I would love to sleep in God’s house.

Well, that happened and I suffered. My first three months in NCCF were hell. How I got there instead of renting an apartment is a story for another day, I had never fallen ill so quickly, so repeatedly, My body was failing me steeped in uncomfortability. I went to see my mother, I needed a motivation, something to live for, I went home to heal.

Things started to change when I returned, I started to sleep better, to get used to routine, to make friends, to get involved in activity, It was there that I slowly began to let loose. I did drama, I teased choristers, I jumped, I prayed and I laughed. I was sleep-deprived, and eating poorly but spiritually transcending and that is all that matters dear.

Part IV: Fine girl, you are very beautiful. I love you.

In Life Update: Q1, I told you about how open I was about relationships, how I had begun to see the work as not only an entity of one but two, I was willing to try, to go out of my way but…but.. There was no way I was going to carry an AK man and let’s be honest, you have all heard the HIV thing which as E explained, was a matter of statistics. The reason why you believe AK is the state with the most cases of Hiv is because they were the most tested, most states didn’t submit themselves for testing.

Men in AK like rubbish so much that it’s sickening. They can toast, cat call and tell lewd jokes all day. Sometimes I think they just do it because they don’t know what else to do. (Ofc It’s not all but that’s the general feel of the men in that state). If you find love, and I mean the real thing, in the hands of an AK man or AK city, I duff my hat for you.

In AK, I avoided NYSC activities as much as I could, I only began to flow with a change in CDS President. It was T who integrated me into the workflow, she mentored me in the art of skipping work and bluffing activities. It was with her, that I felt like I could breathe, like maybe I could thrive in this place.

Part IV: I swear swallow don tire me, I no fit swallow it again.

Just forget rice, spaghetti, etc… when you go to AK

My friend, T, and I did many things together, one of which was trying soups for the culture and because nobody had money to spend on CR, Tanta, or restaurants daily. I loved White soup at first but my appetite began to change, now, I like Afang. I am yet to try Edikang Ikong and Fisherman soup but I look forward to it.

As much as it was nice to experiment, I also hated it. The monotony of it. I ate soups in one year which would take me five years. I don’t eat soups. So, again, I starved. Often, well. My stomach grew flat, my skin grew taunt, my appetite decreased, and I began to see myself in befores and afters. I found solace in throwbacks, I started to say things like…If you see me in —-, I have lost weight oh!, I am not fine again!. It was true, I didn’t feel beautiful for many days and for many days, I didn’t go outside. I took walks at night, I bought suya, I attended service, I ranted to T, I learned a rhythm and by the time T did POP, I was strong enough to stand by myself, to enjoy it, to flow with the rhythm and with new good people who insisted I didn’t do life alone.

Part V: This is how you have changed.

I discerned a change in my character in AK, A subtle anger simmering underneath my skin, I was easily irritated by perceived injustice, I fought for my 100 naira change, and I insisted that things be as they ought not what authorities wanted them to be. To get how significant this is, I am hardly confrontational, I simply don’t have the strength but in AK, I had nothing but the strength; to pray, to fast, to fight. I didn't recognize myself when I fought at the hospital because I felt they were treating a patient badly, I was out of my body when I told an elderly woman off, I was running with a boldness that was foreign to my body. I was angry and I didn't know why.

I also had a character reshaping. Being amongst believers like me taught me to bear fruits, I learned that my love walk wasn’t as solid as I thought it was, that I am hardly patient and that nothing tests you like living with people with similar values.

I cannot exhaust everything that AK is or means to me, I just know that one minute, I thought my world was turned upside down. I know it was God’s will and I learned a lot and met amazing people, some I will carry with me outside of there, and I do want to say it was the best time but to be honest, it wasn’t. I am blessed, in God’s will but I didn’t have the best time being there and this doesn’t take away from the lessons I learned. Maybe one day I will see the full picture, and see how AK factored in, maybe. But until then, as always, God is good.