This Writing Life of Mine

I may be a book influencer but I still struggle with writing.

“Being Roving Thinker has been great on some days…I am reminded…that I am amazing even if I don't think so of myself. I am reminded that the world needs me.”

Our guest writer is a book influencer and writer based in Abuja, Nigeria. She writes about what’s like being Roving Thinker, how she came up with the name, and what writing means to her. Find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok.

Many times, I think of what it takes to be a writer. I read amazing writing, like that of Fredrik Backman, and wonder if I'll ever get good enough. Fredrik Backman is my favourite writer because he has a way of tugging on one's heart. He writes like he has access to the inner workings of a person's mind; he writes with a precision that feels like he knows how this will make you feel, and that is how you will feel. I haven't gotten there yet.

I started writing in secondary school. I remember how the first piece I wrote was a statement. I wanted to say, "This is who I am," and I said it in vivid terms. When I showed my English teacher, he proclaimed it was so good that he asked the entire class to read it. He read other essays I wrote from then on and thought they were good. I became the top student in essay writing.

My second essay was a descriptive piece about my best friend. I loved her so much, I didn’t know how to express it, so I wrote an essay about her. It wasn’t up to two hundred words, but it was enough to amaze my teacher. I wrote for my second best friend too and it made me happy to see them happy.

I tried writing as a practice for my WAEC and NECO English exams because, for anyone who knows, writing at least one essay was a given. I wasn't consistent but I’m grateful I passed.

I stopped writing when I was done with school and then got back into it. I was writing mean things to and about myself. The thing is, I had been insulted and called names growing up, and I was internalizing them. I convinced myself that if I insulted myself enough, no other person's insult would get to me. sort of like, you can’t shame the shameless. So, I would make up lines like, "God has never regretted anything He made, but He sure regretted making you because you are useless." I cringe now thinking of how badly I treated myself. I thought I was protecting myself but didn’t realise I was only causing myself more harm.

Then, I met George. George is like a light. My friend Shammah says my voice has a certain lift to it whenever I call George's name, and I agree. George encouraged me to write, and when he saw that I wrote only dark and sad things, he encouraged me to write happy things. That was a struggle—a huge one—but gradually, I overcame it. I still am overcoming it. And once again, shout out to George: you are amazing.

I opened a Blogger account in 2020 and started writing at least once every week. It challenged me creatively and whatnot, It also required me to be consistent. I found out that I always had things that I wanted to say. They may have lacked elegance but they were bound to spill out.

In 2022, I decided to carve a niche for myself, and I thought hard about what my niche would be. I liked talking about everything and nothing. If you went through my blogs, you would see a range of disconnected topics. You never knew what to expect. I talked about God, music, places, and things. Things roamed in my headspace and found a place to stay, and they did stay.

One of the pieces I was proud of writing (still proud of) is the Car Wash article. I was able to explore being humorous, just the way George advised me to be. I remember sharing the piece with a guy I liked at the time, who is an amazing writer, and he went ahead to describe my writing as a “How-to satire.” Ladies and gentlemen, I could not get enough of that praise.

One of the pieces I was proud of writing (I still am proud of it) is the Car Wash article.

In carving a niche, I decided to have a name. A name that, when people saw it, they knew what to expect. I also knew that I was going to keep on writing random articles. I thought of the name "Random Thoughts." Too bad, someone else was using it. It sounded too bland; it was something I could easily forget, and I didn't want that. I wanted a name that, when people heard it, it called their attention and held it—a name that could be romanticized.

I take the art of naming a thing very seriously. It is an art I dedicate myself to. So, I searched for synonyms of the word "random." I stumbled on "Roving" one day, and I loved it. I loved it so much that I knew I had found a mate for life. I added "Thoughts" to "Roving" at first, but it wasn't giving what I wanted it to give. I added "Thinker" to it because I think a reader is more of a thinker than anything else. And that's how Roving Thinker came to be.

Being Roving Thinker has been great on some days. I mean, the few times I have done a face reveal to people, their reactions are priceless. I am reminded that I am doing a good job and that I am amazing even if I don't think so of myself. I am reminded that the world needs me.

Self doubt also rears its head and it often feels like these compliments are flatteries. That I'm not as good enough as they say.

Roving Thinker has allowed me to write freely, without the pressure to impress. I embrace my writing journey, believing that I'm improving with each word. However, some days are tough and my mind can be a torturous place.

In February, which was a rough period in my life, I received a book voucher from Anonymous. That act of kindness helped silence the negative voices in my head and became one of the highlights of my year. I often reflect on how we can unknowingly save others through simple gestures. I am continually grateful to Anonymous.

While writing can feel solitary, I'm grateful for the support around me. The saying holds: you can go fast alone, but you can go farther together. I've encountered inspiring writers whose skills I admire and strive to emulate.

This writing life of mine, filled with edits and revisions, may not be perfect, but I’m proud of who I am as a writer. For now, that's enough.