Fear is Meaningless.
I have lived a life of fear for as long as I remember.
This is the first time I am admitting it, and I hope that it marks the beginning of a life of freedom for me. Nobody tells you how fear is so crippling, it takes over every single area of your life like a little rat.
This week's guest is a book lover who stays awake all night giggling or stressing over characters in a romance book. When she is not eating Choco Rings, ice cream—she's lactose intolerant—or sending streaks on TikTok, she would like to be anonymous.
I have lived a life of fear for as long as I can remember. I mean, I have always been told that I look confident and know what I am doing with my life, but the truth is irrational fears rule my life. I say Irrational because they do not make any damn sense to me.
Till now I ask why was it so hard to come off. What was so hard that you began to cry?
Here is a little back story to help you understand. June, I went on a leave of absence from work and decided to spend it at a beach resort in Lagos, the kind where you think you are living in a dream. It was amazing, however, a day to when I was to leave something happened that I still have thoughts about. It was a movie night, right on the water on a floating bed, sounds romantic right? Well, you must remember that I have a lot of fears, a lot of them irrational. The pool was 4ft deep, I am 5ft 5, I will not have drowned, yet getting out of that floating bed made me so afraid to the point where I knew that I just could not do it. Till now I ask why was it so hard to come off. What was so hard that you began to cry?
This thing called fear, has held me in one spot for a long time. I am scared to ask for what I want; I am scared to chase my dreams because I feel like I do not deserve them, I am scared to even take up space so much that I shrink myself into a version of myself that I do not always understand.
This is the first time I am admitting it, and I hope that it marks the beginning of a life of freedom for me. Nobody tells you how fear is so crippling, it takes over every single area of your life like a little rat. One day you see a rat dropping in your house and if you don’t buy rat poison to treat it, your house becomes their playground (trust me, I know what I am saying, Surulere rats have finished me before I finished them). This thing called fear, has held me in one spot for a long time. I am scared to ask for what I want; I am scared to chase my dreams because I feel like I do not deserve them, I am scared to even take up space so much that I shrink myself into a version of myself that I do not always understand. I end up asking myself, why did you do that? Stand up for yourself, don’t be a pushover. But easier said than done yeah?
Fear is meaningless. Which when you “deep” it, it’s so true. Because why I dey fear? How that one wan take benefit me for this life?
I was watching a sermon one day on fear and I remember the preacher saying Fear is meaningless. Which when you “deep” it, its so true. Because why I dey fear? How that one wan take benefit me for this life?
Fear is crippling guys, I do not recommend. I am learning to not rush things. I feel like I am late in life, and something must be done so I can teach my kids to be as bold as a LION!
Recommendation:
The guest writer didn’t see this in the draft I sent her but if you know her in real life like I do, You’d see how easily she lights up every room, and how effortlessly she moves through life, she has one of the most beautiful hearts I have ever come across. When I got the document and saw that she battled with fear, my first reaction was shock and I think that’s the point of the write-up. I truly appreciate her for sharing and I am not oblivious to the fact that we all have fears and what it took for her to send and agree to share it. Like her, I hope that you find the courage to do it afraid. Again and again until fear becomes meaningless.
See you next week!